RESTORED REELS — Your squad was eager to push last match after your teammate called out that an enemy combatant was one shot away from death. He claimed that his attacks left the opponent vulnerable to an easy knock, yet the spectator HUD showed that the enemy was basically at full HP.
“Okay, I’m pushing, I’m pushing,” declared your teammate seconds before the encounter. “Got one shot on him. Three shots on him. Headshot, bro. He thinks it’s Tuesday. He’s cooked? Oh my god, he just downed me but he’s so low, dude. He’s so low. Come here now, he’s one-shot, before he heals.”
Your other squadmate, Milkychugs, who was still recovering from unnecessary fall damage, charged in for what was supposed to be a quick cleanup.
“Yeah, the dude was straight up at full health,” said Milkychugs after the incident. “I could’ve healed before going in but they insisted that we had an opening on him. After each shot I remember thinking ‘Surely this will be the one to kill him’ but he just wouldn’t die. We don’t even know how he thought the guy was anywhere near low health. Our working theory is that he saw three single-digit damage popups that were close enough together to look like a triple digit number.”
The enemy player, who separated from their team to loot the area, didn’t think much of the fight.
“I honestly thought they were bots,” said MeowSoles, wearing a victory crown. “The first guy tried hitting me with a shotgun from, like, thirty feet away before I downed him. The rest of them died pretty much instantly. I’m guessing they were playing on Switch or something.”
At press time, your squad has agreed that all future callouts from the offending teammate must be printed, signed, and notarized under oath.
