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Film Executive Has Idea of Lifetime: “We Should Make John Wick 5”

LOS ANGELES — An executive at Lionsgate Films was struck with the creative revelation of a lifetime this weekend, when the idea of John Wick 5 occurred to him suddenly.

“Holy shit, nothing like this has ever happened before,” said Eric Snyder, who’s been an executive at Lionsgate for several years. “Most of my ideas are hot dogshit, but people under me have to pretend they’re good, and their implementation often contributes to the lower quality of the finished project. That’s what being an executive is all about. This time is different though, this one is actually a great idea. I just have this feeling that if we made a John Wick 5 it would do really well.” 

The inspiration struck when the executive was spending the weekend on his yacht, receiving updates about John Wick 4’s continued strong performance at the box office. 

“He was just standing there one minute, dipping a 100 dollar bill into honey before he put it on his fishing hook, just normal weekend stuff,” said Monica Snyder, Eric’s wife. “Then all the sudden he dropped to his knees and said, ‘Eureka! I’ve done it!’ At this point, he got behind the wheel and got us home faster than I realized that big boat could go. When we got back, he was so excited he couldn’t sleep, he just got out his crayons and art stuff and started drawing up logos for John Wick 5.”

Upon waking Sunday morning, Snyder sent a company wide email that he had a game-changing idea to share with them in a mandatory meeting the next day. 

“Whoa, I’ve been in this business a long time, and I can tell you that this guy has what it takes,” said John Wick star and co-executive producer Keanu Reeves, upon leaving today’s brief pitch meeting that gathered the cast and crew of the films as well as fellow studio executives. “Making movies is all about connecting with audiences, and showing them stories and characters they love. Eric’s idea to keep John Wick going is an incredible opportunity to do just that. I’m so glad to be working with people that are passionate about telling stories.”

As of press time, Snyder was promoted to head executive after suggesting a price hike to the Peacock streaming service that hosts the John Wick films.  

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