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Writer Named Al Beyond Pissed at WGA Deal

LOS ANGELES — WGA member and TV writer Al Plinkett is calling out the deal WGA members and the AMPTP made in late September as being blatantly discriminatory towards him specifically, sources have confirmed. 

“‘Al can’t write or rewrite literary material’, ‘Al-generated material will not be considered source-material’,” said Al, misreading from the WGA’s deal to end the 2023 strike. “Is this because I missed the Christmas party last year? What am I supposed to tell my children, that dad can’t work anymore because the entire Writer’s Guild of America hates him?”

A member of the WGA since he was 23, Al has worked on a variety of Emmy-winning shows and has received constant acclaim from both critics and peers, which makes the his interpreted blanket ban on creating any future work even more hurtful.

“I’ve been a writer for 18 years, but for some reason in the last year or so everyone’s been such a jerk to me online,” continued Al, choking back tears. “I feel like I’ve been in an out-of-body nightmare; every news outlet in the last 12 months has just been peppering everything I create as ‘dangerous’, ‘plagiaristic’, or ‘the worst’. I don’t know what I did wrong!”

While the ban came as a complete surprise to Al, others have been increasingly more outspoken over the use of Al-related content in the past year.

“Let’s be clear here: fuck that guy Al,” said WGA President Meredith Stiehm. “This isn’t some misunderstanding where we’re talking about artificial intelligence, which is a whole other matter. No, we all hate that son of a bitch Al. Did you hear he missed the Christmas party last year?”

Upon further review of the deal made by the WGA, it appears that Al is not alone in being banned: writers with the names Eric, Kyle, Marissa, Leah, and Keith are also barred from creating content under the guild’s bizarre new terms. In exchange for these bans, the WGA will allow studios free reign to do “whatever they want” with artificial intelligence.