RENTON, Wash. — Principal Magic: The Gathering designer, Gavin Verhey has revealed that Wizards of the Coast is set to announce a brand new controversy.
Verhey spoke about the upcoming controversy in one of the regular videos he makes for the popular TCG’s YouTube channel.
“Obviously keeping our fanbase engaged is a big challenge, and we find that there is no better way to get people talking about Magic than by doing something they will absolutely hate,” Verhey said. “I wish I could reveal more at this time, but I promise what we have in the works will make them nostalgic for the venture into the dungeon mechanic. I look forward to the many death threats and wishes of bodily harm I know our most passionate fans will be sending my way.”
Popular Magic YouTuber and host of Tolarian Community College, Brian Lewis AKA “The Professor” uploaded a reaction video entitled, “Quitting Magic And Becoming A Yu-Gi-Oh Channel”.
“Many Magic: The Gathering players ask, ‘When should I stop taking shit from Wizards of the Coast?’, and I am here to tell you that today is the day.” The Professor said, “If you thought Daybound and Nightbound was bad, well, this latest controversy has forced my hand–no pun intended–and from this day forward the Tolarian Community College is no more. From this moment on this channel will only make Yu-Gi-Oh content and will be rebranded as ‘Domino City Community College’. I will also be retiring my famous phrase, ‘Reading the card explains the card.’, because have you ever tried reading a Yu-Gi-Oh card? That shit is indecipherable.”
Wizards of the Coast PR released a brief and uncredited statement defending the announcement of the new controversy.
“We know you piggies will swarm like the swine you are around the trough once we put this shit up for sale. We could put a little turd in each booster pack and as long as we said 1 in 4 turds had bits of foil in it they’d sell out immediately because no piggie can resist a bucket of sweet sweet slop.”
At press time, Wizards of the Coast had announced a limited run of Rainbow Foil Turds on Secret Lair that briefly crashed the website due to customer demand.
