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Up-and-Coming Streamer Invests in Everything but a Personality

TORONTO — A young streamer in Toronto has used up all his savings to invest in all the necessary equipment to give him a jumpstart as a content creator except for an entertaining personality, reports confirmed.

Kevin Lockhart has purchased every piece of streaming equipment he read about online.

“I’ve always wanted to be a full-time streamer, so I’ve spent the last little while saving up for all the equipment I need to make that happen. I have every single product Elgato has ever released. Capture card, mic, mic arm, lights, webcam, green screen, audio mixer, teleprompter, I have it all. This stuff should really drive in the viewers I think,” said Lockhart.

Lockhart’s friends are worried he may have put his priorities on the wrong thing.

“Kevin is fairly dry, and monotone. He’s a shy guy a lot of the time, we told him to work on becoming more open and outgoing first and get the fancy equipment second but he was adamant that the equipment would be what makes his streams watchable and popular,” said Kevin’s friend Logan.

Lockhart told reporters he is not worried about his lack of personality.

“I’ve been watching Twitch a long time and most streamers don’t have a personality beyond hating a particular group of people so I think I’ll be fine. I’ve seen people with thousands of viewers who just seem like awful people so how hard could it be? Especially when I have all this equipment to make me look good.”

At press time, Lockhart is currently unemployed and looking to hire an editor to upload his VODs to his YouTube channel with 3 subscribers.

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