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Starfleet Scanner Detects High Concentration of Plot Hooks on Nearby Planet

THE FINAL FRONTIER — A recent scan on an undiscovered planet revealed copious amounts of potential plot points and advancement of storylines on its surface, a Starfleet captain has revealed. 

“Oh wow, these readings are off the charts,” said Captain Michael Watson of the USS Starship Occursus. “Not only is there a race down there that has never been presented with the concept of love, but also I guess our Second Officer’s long lost father is down there? It’s incredibly improbable of course, but the good news is that this should give us plenty of fodder for meaningful conversations and growth over the next hour or so.”

Upon learning of the planet’s readings, an away team was put together and sent down to the icy planet, where the narrative discoveries continued. 

“Couldn’t believe it, as soon as we got down there we found a civilization discussing the merits of going to war to protect their peaceful way of life,” said Dr. Beverly Sanders, the crew’s medic. “It was so fun hemming and hawing about morality and the nature of man versus machine that we almost totally forgot we were down here to teach these aliens about love and find Blake’s father. One of the crazier hours since I joined Starfleet, to be honest with you.” 

The aliens on the planet were impressed with the professionalism displayed by the long tenured crew of the Occursus

“Those guys were so pro, it was like watching a race car in a pit stop,” said L’Plor, a resident of the planet that supplied the plot points. “The way they spoke about the surface level things going on with obvious subtext about larger social matters was just fascinating. And they were so efficient. No sooner had we imparted our entire species’ collected observations following eons of living in this highly advanced solar system than they packed their shit and left. They said they got some other signal from a planet that is stuck in a Civil War and took the fuck off.” 

As of press time, the ship had stopped off at a prison planet to refill on fuel and action sequences.

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