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RANKED: We Couldn’t Afford Anything at Comic Con So Here’s the 100 Best Things We Saw

Comic Con is a blast, but boy are some of the things they sell there expensive. Nonetheless, even if you don’t bring home an anime figure to plop on your bookshelf and forget about it, at least there’s a bunch of cool stuff to take pictures of on your phone. Here’s the top 100 things we saw at New York Comic Con this year!

  1. The same five One Piece and My Hero Academia figures at every single booth
  2. A bunch of foam sword replicas that are too small to actually look the like original
  3. One Kill la Kill replica sword that is perfectly sized and too similar to the original
  4. Absurdly high-priced $300 dollar Funko Pops
  5. Still fairly High-priced $40 dollar Funko Pops
  6. Reasonably-priced $10 dollar Funko Pops
  7. No explanation for what determines Funko Pop pricing
  8. Frank Miller…banner at artist’s alley because he is out to lunch
  9. The missed opportunity to ask Frank Miller what the fuck was Holy Terror
  10. Merch that crosses the Golden Girls with pretty much any franchise you could imagine
  11. The longest line for empanadas in human history
  12. One cosplayer who is too into being the Kingpin
  13. At least one celebrity who no one’s really sure why they’re there — this year’s were Ice T and Coco
  14. A grown man who is certain his 5 week old baby is pumped to be in a building with constant noise dressed as Baby Yoda
  15. Neon Genesis Evangelion merch
  16. Neon Genesis Evangelion merch that sexualizes teenage girls [before you start to argue about this one in the comments really think on what you’re about to defend]
  17. Mystery boxes
  18. People who are somehow cool with buying mystery boxes
  19. A cool figure that you can find online for $30 less
  20. Cosplayer struggling to eat, such as was Galactus shoving a hot dog down his mask
  21. One guy who was really bummed when we said we didn’t like his Kingpin cosplay
  22. That car from that show 
  23. That car from that movie 
  24. Women’s booty shorts that have little puns about cumming on them, i.e. “just call me Winter” and then the Game of Thrones logo
  25. Exactly zero people buying women’s booty shorts that have little puns about cumming on them
  26. An extremely intricately made furry cosplay
  27. A guy dressed as Spider-Man
  28. 50,000 other guys dressed as Spider-Man
  29. Danny Trejo insisting he’s allowed to cut in the food lines 
  30. People in the least comfortable clothing you’ve ever seen somehow not sweating even a little bit 
  31. A rapidly aging Sgt. Slaughter
  32. People taking a good hard look at a Power Rangers toy before they buy it 
  33. Rob Liefeld autographing people’s cargo pockets
  34. Horrifyingly accurate Darkwing Duck cosplay that haunts you at night
  35. NFTs
  36. Oh god, even more NFTs
  37. Multiple people claiming to be the official voice of Goku and signing drawings for $100 a pop
  38. A real life Harley Quinn/Joker break up
  39. The reunited cast of Scream demanding you leave their private catering area
  40. Framed animation cels from ’90s cartoons that look really expensive and could absolutely not be something you could carry around for hours
  41. One asshole trying to walk in the opposite direction of everybody else on the main floor
  42. An extremely long line of people waiting to get into a panel where they just play an episode of a TV show that already came out last week on streaming
  43. A $35 slice of microwaved pizza
  44. C3P0 using a urinal
  45. Someone whose cosplay, for some reason, involves blasting music out of a speaker
  46. An enormous display for an upcoming movie that you have never heard of and will never hear of again
  47. People waiting 30 minutes in line to take a photo in front of a piece of cardboard
  48. Vin Diesel cospl—oh wait, nevermind that’s just a bald guy
  49. A poster where Deadpool sits on the Iron Throne
  50. A poster where Batman sits on the Iron Throne
  51. A poster where John Wick sits on the Iron Throne
  52. No cool A Song of Ice and Fire posters
  53. The Predator. Not a costume, not a trailer, but the actual Predator
  54. A sexual predator signing autographs for some cartoon character he voiced
  55. Disgusting Marvel executives giving people first glimpses in the alley outside
  56. Pornographic anime body pillows
  57. Wholesome anime body pillows
  58. A very short line for the more disgusting looking food truck
  59. Ah wait, nevermind, the line is just wrapped around the building there
  60. Ultra rare, one-of-a-kind, one-sided die
  61. A man trying to figure out the logistics of getting the life sized Elvira sculpture he just bought home on the train
  62. Multiple drawings of your favorite characters shitting on a toilet for some reason
  63. A disturbingly accurately flesh statue of Stan Lee
  64. Promotional cosplay of a guy dressed as superhero whose head is a shaving razor 
  65. A disgruntled weeb who remembers when these cons USED to sell real swords
  66. Least funny person alive dressed as Deadpool
  67. Second least funny person alive dressed as Rick Sanchez
  68. Third least funny person alive: Seth McFarlane doing a panel
  69. Darth Vader arriving in a Honda Civic
  70. A disgraced Joe Camel trying to make a few bucks signing autographs
  71. Cosplayers dramatically posing and looking cool right next to a food truck for just mac n’ cheese
  72. Scores of professional cosplayers waiting to be interviewed about where they bought their foam
  73. Elvis Presley (pretty sure it was really him)
  74. Gundam figurines that are more expensive because you have to make them yourself
  75. Businessman who wrote a fantasy novel
  76. Apparently an extremely famous comic book artist who you have never heard of, surrounded by a crowd of excited fans
  77. Bojack Horseman cosplayer holding horse mask in hands because it has no eye holes 
  78. Respected thespian feigning interest in nerd shit he’s roped up in
  79. People selling passes for more than the cost of the normal passes even though the passes are not sold out
  80. Guy who spent hundreds of dollars to go to Comic Con just to see a new movie trailer that IGN will post an hour later
  81. Extremely tempting stack of d20s 
  82. YouTube prankster trying to get cosplayers to say stupid shit on camera
  83. Dan Harmon
  84. Oh wait, actually that’s Dan Harmon over there
  85. Those nuts they sell in Central Park that no one would ever buy, but now they’re lookin pretty good cause you’re so damn hungry
  86. An enormous area where you can play Smash Bros or Halo: Infinite even though you can literally do that at home whenever you want
  87. Someone filming a documentary where they try to run for president as a gamer
  88. The sobering realization that all the cool panels were on the days you couldn’t go
  89. Someone saying “this is the last year we’re going to this shit” who you definitely saw say that last year
  90. The guy that played the dog in Air Bud
  91. A makeshift village composed entirely of novelty t-shirts
  92. That one guy from high school you really didn’t care for but suddenly think is neat because “what’re the odds we run into him here, right?”
  93. Surprising amount of high stakes pickup dice games
  94. Cosplayers waiting for twenty minutes of foot traffic to pass because someone wants a photo
  95. Not really being sure what Svengoolie is
  96. Finding out that a relative you don’t like went to the con specifically for Svengoolie
  97. A man instantly regretting the amount he spent on a rare Eragon poster 
  98. Fury Road cosplayers huffing spray paint in parking lot
  99. An energy sword that does not resemble energy at all
  100. Curmudgeon listing things he doesn’t like about Comic Con despite attending every single year