Hey everybody, we just want to take a quick minute for something serious today. Halloween is just around the corner and we just want to ask you to PLEASE check your kids candy bags this year for the Gom Jabbar. With the popularity of Dune being at an all time high this year it’s important that you stay vigilant and protect your kids from poison needles put there by a space witch.
Now the Gom Jabbar may be too small and hard to see so let’s go over a few preventative measures to keep your children safe. If you and your child arrive at a door and after happily shouting “Trick or Treat!” you see a frail old woman in a dramatic veil say “Who are you supposed to be? Perhaps the Kwisatz Haderach? I have a test to see if you may be the one…” LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! This woman is not about to give your child a full size Snickers bar. She is going to make them put their hand in a box of pain and hold a death needle at their neck!
These Bene Gesserits are tenacious and if you’re not careful your little ones could end up as a casualty in their eugenic schemes! They say that fear is the mind killer but nothing kills the fun spooky mood like a trick to the hospital because you weren’t paying attention to the things being put in your child’s candy bag.
Don’t worry too much though, the Gom Jabbar only brings instant death to animals so if your kids are truly human they should be okay. Stay tuned for our next special message cautioning against jury rigging your stillsuit to cycle beer instead of water and the dangers that come with it.
