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Oscars In Memoriam to Include Coyote vs. Acme

LOS ANGELES – Hoping to rectify audience disappointment with last year’s incomplete “In Memoriam” segment, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will include everything lost in the film industry last year, including the eternally shelved WB project, Coyote vs. Acme.

“We’ve lost so many people and projects in the industry this year that we, as the Academy, need to honor and recognize,” said Academy President, Jannet Yang, to the press earlier today. “Whether they died of natural causes, under the iron fist of David Zaslov, or having been shot by the voice of the Boss Baby, every lost soul will be celebrated on Hollywood’s biggest stage.”

The cast and crew of Coyote vs. Acme, who remained hopeful for a possible future release, see this memorial as a final anvil to the head.

“I’ve made a living in this business being humiliated for over 70 years,” says star Wile E. Coyote. “But this dedication to the lost hard work of so many great people stings worse than hitting a painted tunnel on the side of a cliff at full speed.”

The In Memoriam segment is expected to last close to 25 minutes, five times longer than previous years. To accompany the touching tribute to Hollywood’s fallen soldiers, John Cena will perform an extended rendition of Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” entirely in Mandarin.

“It’ll be an honor and a privilege to be a part of this celebration of cinema,” said the former WWE star, “Hopefully next year I’ll be on that stage under different circumstances, perhaps accepting an award for portraying Ricky Stanicky.”

At press time, additional members of the prestigious award show’s segment are set to include Rooster Teeth and Johnathan Majors’ future in the MCU.

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