LOS ANGELES — Noovie Arcade, the mobile app that turns your mobile phone into a video game controller for gaming experiences on the silver screen, has recently hit a rare milestone. The AR gaming app has been uninstalled by users over a million times, the company said in a press release.
“It baffles me,” says National CineMedia CEO Tom Lesinki while wearing a pair of Google Glass. “Why wouldn’t people want to play arcade style video games in 60 second chunks, a half hour before the movie trailers begin. What else are you going to do during that time?”
David Enriquez, a 17 year old moviegoer downloaded the app out of curiosity but uninstalled the app mere minutes after he first installed it. “I kept seeing those pre-show Noovie announcements and thought it was interesting enough to download. But the app takes about 20 seconds to load so by the time you’re ready to play the game, it’s half over.”
“I think it’s a money laundering scheme,” says Tim Rowland who wrote the r/gaming reddit post titled Does anybody actually play those stupid Noovie Arcade games? Rowland goes to the movies twice a week and never sees anybody playing Noovie Arcade.
“They intentionally made a lame app so they can funnel illegal drug money through a shell company. There’s no way Noovie is a real company. No amount of Maria Menounos promos will ever convince me otherwise.”
“I don’t listen to the haters,” says Lesinksi while making a green juice on his Juicero. He says failure at this scale only motivates the Noovie team further. “We’re already experimenting with new Noovie branded apps that can be experienced before concerts and even sporting events. The future’s looking bright for Noovie.”
The Hard Drive reached out to Maria Menounos for comment but she just told us to go see Wonka in theaters now!
