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New Immersive Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge Experience Will Let You Direct Meandering Season of Television

ANAHEIM, Calif. — A new exhibit at the popular Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge section of the Disneyland Resort will now let visitors produce and direct an underwhelming season of a Star Wars television show, sources have confirmed. 

“Wow, I’m actually in the Star Wars universe,” proclaimed Galaxy’s Edge visitor Nicole Jeffers, as she crossed off storyboarded scenes of Grogu and The Mandalorian going on what looked like really cool space adventures. “It was really fun having drinks in the Cantina and seeing the bridge of the Millennium Falcon, but sitting in the editing bay and helping make sure we produced ten episodes of overly convoluted stories that were in no way what people wanted from us, well, that’s what really makes the ticket worth the price of admission. I can’t wait to come back!” 

The new addition to Galaxy’s Edge will let customers script their own shows, squander their potential, and even pitch their own distracting stunt casting to employees posing as Lucasfilm executives. 

“This was so fun, I pitched a scene with George W. Bush and Keith Richards as Tusken Raiders and the guy said it was a perfect fit,” said Matt Cartwright, a fellow Disneyland visitor. “Then after we shot it in a garage instead of an actual desert, I got to go in front of a fake media and talk about why I thought it was no big deal to sort of just do whatever you want with a television show every week. Fuck it!” 

Dave Filoni, creator of The Mandalorian, has reportedly been keeping an eye on the activities at the popular new section of the park. 

“I’ve been hearing some really great ideas here,” said Filoni, dressed as Chewbacca so as not to be recognized. “We’re always looking for some new writers and directors to make some truly inexplicable decisions and fuck up what ought to be surefire home runs. After what I’ve seen here today, the future of Star Wars is looking very good!” 

As of press time, it was revealed that the next addition to Galaxy’s Edge would be a little desk you could sit at and cancel upcoming Star Wars movies. 

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