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Logan Paul Unsure How to Pose in Photo With Alive Thing

DORADO, Puerto Rico — Struggling to figure out how to align his body, popular YouTuber Logan Paul was frustrated after reuniting with his abandoned pet pig Pearl, not knowing how to pose in a photo with an alive thing. 

“I don’t understand, what do I do?” a squirming Paul said while being photographed. “Usually it’s really easy, the body just stays still while I can make silly faces and bat the corpse around like a speed bag, but taking pictures with an alive creature is a whole different world. I’m happy to reunite with my pig…uh…I wanna say…Earl? But I’m just trying to make a video here and it’s not really being the collaborator I’m used to. I’m starting to see why I abandoned this thing to begin with. Very unprofessional!” 

The photographer Paul brought with him to capture the heartwarming reunion expressed his difficulties committing the moment to film.

“We spent about three hours out there with the pig just trying to get either it or Logan to stay still,” said photographer Bill Pope. “Everytime Logan would drop his jaw and widen his eyes in feigned surprise for the picture, the pig would wander off or get frightened. Logan suggested we just kill the animal to make for a better thumbnail, but thankfully I was able to talk him down. The process was so long and difficult that I would’ve killed myself right there in that forest if I didn’t know Logan would make a thirty minute vlog around my dead body.”

At press time, sources close to Paul reported that Logan had abandoned the animal a second time after most of the footage of their reunion turned out to be blurry and out of focus.