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Jared Leto Swears Grimace Shake Thing Happened to Him For Real 

LOS ANGELES — Actor and musician Jared Leto has made a shocking claim that the Grimace Shake meme, which portrays disastrous results for McDonald’s customers that drink their latest dessert menu offering, really happened to him, like seriously. 

“Oh man, it was so twisted,” said Leto, to gathered reporters outside of his house earlier today, after requesting that they all appear there. “I had that new Grimace shake and then, uh, boom, I was like waking up in a river or something. It was the middle of the night, and it was seriously sick and twisted, like so dark. I lot of people couldn’t handle it, but I just found my cup, stared into the abyss, and kept drinking. This kind of fucked up shit happens to me every day.” 

Leto’s claims were largely met with skepticism.

“This guy doesn’t understand anything, does he?” asked Simone Parker, who’s enjoyed several Grimace videos on TikTok. “No one likes the Joker because he smears shit on his face or whatever, and no one thinks this Grimace thing is actually happening. I would tell him what people really thought about Morbius, but I’m not sure he’s ready for that conversation.” 

As of press time, Leto also claimed that he was on the Titan submersible but “got out at the last minute.” 

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