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HYPOCRITE ALERT: George R. R. Martin Reportedly Filed Taxes Right on Time

SANTA FE, N.M. — A scathing new report has surfaced online that alleges fantasy author George R. R. Martin, nearly 12 years removed from releasing a novel in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, somehow managed to pay his taxes on time yet again, annoyed sources have confirmed. 

“Fucking horseshit, man,” said Johnathan Karnowitz, an avid fan of the ASOIAF novels, which were adapted into the HBO series Game of Thrones. “I get that you’re working hard and want the books to be good, but don’t let me find out you’re out here working on Elden Ring and paying your taxes and shit when you could be finishing The Winds of Winter. That’s just disrespectful to the fans. Without them, he wouldn’t have any income to tax!” 

The author pushed back against the allegations, insisting that he would be further impeded from finishing his books if he were to not pay his taxes by the assigned deadline. 

“If I’m incarcerated for not paying taxes on my income, what good does that do anybody?” asked Martin in a 20,000 word blog published on his website today, defending his publishing habits. “I honestly can’t believe the scrutiny given to me applying my craft has extended all the way to outrage over filing my taxes on time. It’s two different things entirely! A song of apples and oranges, if you will.” 

As of press time, TMZ had confirmed that all of Martin’s nieces and nephews received cards promptly on their birthdays this year, often with original prose contributed to them, further adding to the outrage of fans.