LOS ANGELES — After carrying out a search warrant of his Los Angeles mansion over sex trafficking charges, the FBI announced they have enough evidence to hire Sean “Diddy” Combs as a Nickelodeon Showrunner
Special Agent Dan Wexler held a press conference after the raid and detailed the shocking revelations.
“While executing the search warrant against Mr. Comb’s home, we found what we believed to be sufficient evidence of his qualification to be in charge of children’s programming at Nickelodeon,” said Wexler. “What we saw inside that house was a level of depravity that made me question my faith and the overall purpose of life. Based on what we found, he may be one of the most qualified people to put in a position of power at Nickelodeon.”
Shelley Persaud, a representative of Nickelodeon confirmed that Diddy has already accepted a job at the studio.
“He definitely has some big shoes to fill, but given his vast prior experience, I think he will adapt well to the role. With the lack of accountability for predators in this industry, there are so many people still here from the last rounds of incidents that will help show him the ropes, if he needs it,” said Persaud.
Persaud couldn’t say the exact show that Diddy will work on but did offer some details.
“I can’t say much but I can tell you that kids who have no idea the subtext or double meaning of what’s going on are going to love it. And when they grow up they’re going to love rewatching it to discover how weird and gross it all was to be in a kids’ show. They’re going to need to watch so many TikToks of Steve from Blue’s Clues after this one.”
At press time, Nickelodeon announced there is currently a bidding war on the documentary that will be made about the show Diddy is put in charge of.
