NAMEK — Local psychopath and emperor of Universe 7, Frieza, reportedly failed to turn into his final form at a battle yesterday, despite claiming that “this has never happened before.”
“No, it’s not performance anxiety, you maggots. I can usually transform into my second form with no problem!” the son of King Cold explained, unprompted. “It’s probably just because I’m tired.”
Witnesses at the scene of the incident were baffled and embarrassed by Frieza’s reaction.
“One second we were battling to the death—real hot and heavy stuff, you know?” said former Great Ape and newly christened super saiyan Goku. “I only asked him to go to 100% power because I thought he wanted to. Then when he couldn’t, he got all pissy even though I told him it was okay, but he acted like it was my fault or something. It was just sad to watch.”
Frieza was reportedly able to become his final form a half hour later, but blew his load seconds after, destroying the entire planet.
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