VATICAN CITY — Tens of thousands of tourists from around the world are flocking to Vatican City to bear witness to the historic opening of the long rumored but now confirmed massive collection of hentai that exists in Pope Francis’ private chambers.
Pope Francis spoke at an opening ceremony for the exhibit of priceless lolicon, furry, yuri and other subgenres of Japanese cartoon porn the church has acquired over the centuries.
“A lot of these masterpieces come from the cardinals, bishops and priests’ personal collections,“ the Pope said to members of the media while gesturing to a portrait of a cartoonish girl being completed blasted open by an alien tentacle monster that was said to have been commissioned by Pope Pius XI during the late 1700s.
“I am very proud of being the world’s most powerful volcel,” the Pope explained.
According to religious experts, although the Vatican’s collection of hentai was well known to those who worked there, no one outside a select few have ever seen it fully.
“First saying that pets go to heaven, and now revealing the Vatican’s secret hentai collection — Pope Francis is constantly changing the way that we view Catholicism,” explained Rachel Kassinger, a professor in religious studies at MIT.
At press time, Bishop Giuseppe Moretti showed attendants a waifu pillow, featuring a barely clothed wolf girl in a school uniform, which Pope Francis immediately ran over to hug, murmuring “kawaii” in a soft voice while petting it.
