ST. LOUIS — Police body-cam footage viewers were confident that a local officer recently seen committing a brutal misuse of police force would be relieved of his duties, until a shocking post-credits scene revealed he survived any repercussions to fight another day.
“I’m not surprised he got away with it, they always keep the villain alive so they can return to their evil ways later,” said local man Rodrigo Simmons. “When I saw how vicious he was in the video, I knew the police force would keep him around for a sequel beating or two. I’m sure next time he’ll be bigger and badder somehow, though, to keep up the threat. They’ll probably promote him to Captain. I hear it has already leaked out that the next hate crime will be released as early as February.”
The officer in question commented on the difficulty keeping the post-credits scene a secret before the premiere.
“Oh my god it was so hard not to tell everyone, but I didn’t want to take that moment away from the audience,” said officer Kevin Fray. “I had to deny it for so long, but it’s such a relief that everyone knows now. I’m so excited for my future projects, most of which will surely involve terrorizing my local community, but I can’t talk about them just yet. Right now I’m just suspended with pay, but I promise I’ll be back on the streets for a follow-up as soon as this filler ‘trial’ arc wraps up.”
Police Chief Ryan Fellows weighed in on his decision to keep officer Fray around.
“When you have a character like that, you can’t just kill him off,” Fellows said. “This is all according to my plan. Eventually he’ll fade into the background, because people will realize that he was just a pawn being puppeted by me, the final boss. We think fans are really going to respond to all the shocking footage we put out in 2022.”
At press time, sources reported a huge leak which says there will be a massive villain crossover event between the police force and a local chapter of the KKK, which reportedly has been decades in the making.
“They may not be under the same companies, but these franchises are far more connected than fans realize!” the leak said.
