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Blood-Soaked YouTuber Desperately Tries to Pass Off Hitting Pedestrian With Car as Social Experiment

LOS ANGELES — YouTube personality David Patterson, better known by his internet personality SuperVGMan64, caused a horrible tragedy this morning when he accidentally hit a pedestrian with his car, a move the YouTuber frantically tried to pass off as an elaborate internet social experiment.

“What’s up guys? SuperVGMan64 here back with another hilarious social experiment,” trembled Patterson on a hastily-recorded cell phone video. “Today we’re seeing how people react if I do a hit-and-run on a pedestrian, and this is 100% fake and all just part of my video. We’re going to see if I can pay the few bystanders $10,000 to look the other way as I speed off into the night and have my car reported stolen next morning. Oh God, what have I done? Let’s find out and jump right into it!”

SuperVGMan64 fan Caleb Trusler expressed their affinity for the experiment in the unedited video’s comment section.

“Amazing video! So funny and realistic,” Trusler began. “How did he get the blood to look so real? Very high production video here. Whoever played the pedestrian did a great job begging for their life only for SuperVGMan to dump him in the lake, you don’t usually get that kind of acting on YouTube. It really made me think about how society views hitting people with your car.”

YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki made a statement about the video’s problematic content.

“This kind of blatant violence and recklessness has no place on YouTube,” Wojcicki told reporters. “So as a lesson to Mr. Patterson, we’re going to leave it up and put six or seven ads in the video as a punishment.”

At press time, SuperVGMan64 reported that the social experiment was a smash success, and his upcoming vehicular manslaughter trial prank video could be found exclusively on his Patreon.

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