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Anime Girl Buys Lonely Nerd Body Pillow

NEW NEO-TOKYO — Hayasato Mara, member of super-powered female anime group Sparkle Squad confirmed she has purchased a lonely nerd body pillow.

Mara confirmed the purchase during an Instagram Live in which she addressed rumors about her relationship status.

“As many of you may have already heard, I have found the love of my life. His name is Josh and we are going to spend the rest of our lives together.” Hayasato then gestured to a body pillow placed on the chair next to her depicting Josh Williamson, an e-commerce analyst living in Kansas City, Missouri. 

Hayasato then shocked fans even further when it was revealed that they were engaged to be married. 

“Josh proposed at the top of the New Neo-Tokyo Skytree right before it was destroyed by a kaiju summoned by the evil Dr. Izanami. Luckily Josh was unharmed from the attack and we plan on getting married atop the New New Neo-Tokyo Skytree once it is rebuilt.” 

The body pillow of Josh is part of a fairly popular line of body pillows in New Neo-Tokyo. The manufacturer’s website states that the pillow is part of a line portraying “Men that have gaming chair-based sciatica and mod for VTubers.” 

The relationship between Hayasato and Pillow Josh is not without controversy. Critics of the relationship point to the disturbing difference between Josh’s actual age and the age he is depicted as. 

“While Josh appears to be in his early to mid-40s, canonically he is 24 years old,” explained Sparkle Squad fan Marcus Brookes. “The difference between age and appearance is explained by a lack of exercise, near-nightly edible consumption, and the general crushing weight of existence. It’s not as weird as a 14-year-old woman that looks 22, but it is still kind of a bummer to have to look at.”

Creators of Josh Williamson, Lance, and Donna Williamson were asked their thoughts about the unusual relationship and the use of the likeness of their creation. 

“What are you talking about? What is the Sparkle Squad? Stop calling us.”

At press time, Mara and Pillow Josh’s wedding is scheduled in a few weeks after the section of the city destroyed by the kaiju attack is rebuilt between episodes.

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