AUSTIN, Texas — Pinnacle Film Productions, Pelican Digital Media Group, and Pierced Barber Studios are 3 of the 42 independent studios that have teamed up to produce a brand new sad and meandering dark indie dramedy, Tarantula Vibes, yet another yawner about overthinking millennials navigating life, exhausted sources have confirmed.
“Tarantula Vibes tells the story of a young female writer trying to make it in the big city while her skinny but mean boyfriend is also trying to make it in the big city, but the catch is they’re both depressed and she’s part-tarantula,” according to critic FilmGirlSarah. “I felt none of the feels from this movie, which I think falls short of being the hybrid-arachnid dramedy we all need right now, especially me, a 48-year-old millennial/zoomer who can’t help but doom-scroll.”
Despite the large number of production companies working on the film, many moviegoers felt that the story, acting, and directing still needed more work.
“Homicidal Anvil Media, Fish In The Crick Studio, Cinema Movie Film Group, Steakburger Studios, Cheeburger Cheeburger Media, Checkerbox Media, Porcupine Flix, Lemongrass Film Association, and Juicy Ol’ Burger Productions are some of my favorite production companies. So it’s a shame they couldn’t collaborate to make something great,” said film fan Roberta Haley. “That being said, I’ve always hated movies by Three Star Studios, Mountain View Films, Blue Ball Media, and Crawford and Sons Productions, so I guess I can safely say it’s their fault the movie sucked.”
Despite negative reviews from critics, fans, and crewmembers alike, a sequel to Tarantula Vibes has already been greenlit, with 37 of the original 42 studios on board to produce. According to those familiar with the situation, the director’s father being a massively powerful film producer has something to do with the decision, although both deny this, saying that it’s actually due to the first movie being “really dope.”