BOCA CHICA, Texas — After climbing the Diablo IV and Path of Exile 2 leaderboards, Elon Musk is now claiming that he also holds the high score in Donkey Kong, dethroning the previous record holder, Billy Mitchell.
The tech CEO and pro gamer doubled down on these claims while playing the arcade classic on a Twitch stream earlier this week.
“You all act like this is hard. Anyone with a small allotment of time can jump over enough of these little brown circles and get the high score,” Musk said as he completely ignored the hammer and continued up toward Donkey Kong. “Hammer? The hammer’s for phonies like Billy who want to pad their score without putting the work in.”
Mitchell did not take Musk’s insults lightly and took to his own Twitch stream to respond to Musk’s anti-hammer hubris.
“‘Hammers are for score padders’ what the hell is he talking about? There’s no way he did this without emulation or someone playing for him,” Mitchell said in his stream between ad breaks featuring his hot sauce. “If he can prove to me that he broke the record without emulation or the help of an actual gamer, I’ll give him a lifetime supply of Rickey’s World Famous Hot Sauce.”
Not taking the bait, Musk responded immediately with another stream.
“Billy Mitchell can hardly break records, what does he know about hot sauce? Sit down, Billy before I buy your shitty restaurant chain and burn it down,” Musk said staring into the screen. “Yeah, so what if I used an emulator and hired Steve Wiebe to play a few screens for me? You gonna cry Billy? What kind of man goes by Billy? You’re old. Just go by Bill or William, you pedophile.”
At press time, Musk was pondering getting into speedrunning games and started making a list of speedrunners and how much they would cost to hire.
