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April 20, 2021

Seth Rogen Battles Quarantine Loneliness By Making Giant Ceramic Jonah Hill

Seth Rogen Battles Quarantine Loneliness By Making Giant Ceramic Jonah Hill

BURBANK, Calif. — Comedic actor Seth Rogen posted a photo on Instagram today revealing that he had created a 20 foot tall ceramic Jonah Hill…

April 9, 2021

Local Basketball Coach Arrested After Feeding Opposing Star Player Chocolate

Local Basketball Coach Arrested After Feeding Opposing Star Player Chocolate

FERNFIELD, Wash. — Stephen Cobbs, coach of the Spokane Warriors junior high basketball team, has been arrested after killing Fernfield Timberwolves’ star player, Air ‘Buddy’…

April 5, 2021

Here Are All the Porns Coming To Pornhub This Weekend

Here Are All the Porns Coming To Pornhub This Weekend

Well, it looks like we’ll be jackin our knobs and flicking our vaginas once again this weekend! Here’s everything you need to know about what’s…

April 3, 2021

20 Things in WandaVision That Could’ve Been Mephisto

20 Things in WandaVision That Could’ve Been Mephisto

One of the most popular theories about WandaVision was that it was all being controlled by Mephisto, an extra-dimensional being who basically serves as Marvel’s…

April 1, 2021

Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet

Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet

LOS ANGELES — Following the long awaited release of his highly anticipated extended cut of Justice League, a hubristic Zack Snyder has now released an…

March 31, 2021

Report: Guy You’ve Never Heard of Is Creep

Report: Guy You’ve Never Heard of Is Creep

NEW YORK — Following accusations from several women, some supposedly famous guy you’re just learning about for the first time is a creep, a breaking…

March 25, 2021

Even Conspiracy Theorist Kinda Surprised How Right He’s Been Lately

Even Conspiracy Theorist Kinda Surprised How Right He’s Been Lately

LAS VEGAS — Conspiracy theorist Andrew Hawkins has recently been taken aback by how much he has gotten right in the last few years, according…

March 24, 2021

Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When a Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America

Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When a Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America

NORTH SALEM, N.Y. — Professor Charles Xavier, headmaster at Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, is reportedly at a loss as to how to utilize…

March 20, 2021

Gamer Looking to Save the World Regrettably Recruited by United States Military

Gamer Looking to Save the World Regrettably Recruited by United States Military

MODESTO, Calif. — Local gamer Martin Long, 22, has reportedly joined the United States military after being inspired to save the world through his video…