Weapons Merchant Just Invited You to His Improv Show
RURAL SPAIN — Deep in the catacombs of a believed to be abandoned castle, a mysterious cloaked figure pedals weapons,…
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Garry Kerls — Page 3
78 stories found
Super Nintendo World Ride Operator Blows Into Malfunctioning Roller Coaster
ORLANDO — Early setbacks at Universal Orlando’s new Super Nintendo World have been smoothed out by experienced ride operators simply…
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Samus Forced to Watch 30-Second Ad to Charge Power Beam
VIEWROS — After downloading the latest software update to her Power Suit, Samus Aran is now required to watch a…
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Elon Musk Trades Lv. 100 Charizard to Elon Musk
WASHINGTON — In a closed door meeting between personally owned GameBoy Colors, tech billionaire Elon Musk has acquired a rare…
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Democrats Introduce Bill That Sits on Its Ass and Doesn’t Do Anything
WASHINGTON — During a recent rewatch of ‘Schoolhouse Rock,’ Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer was inspired to draft a piece…
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Every Trump Cabinet Member if They Were One of Jabba the Hutt’s Goons
In times of uncertainty, many Americans – like myself – retreat into the warm embrace of beloved movies and comfort…
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Sen. John Fetterman Wandering Capitol Building, Attacking Any Survivors
WASHINGTON — In hopes to combat the impending “woke mind virus” pandemic, the Trump Administration has turned Sen. John Fetterman…
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Trump Presidency 2 Fails To Fix Stick Drift
PASADENA, Calif. — After eight long years, the wait for a second Trump Presidency is finally over. But as the…
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Boss’s Waiting Room Full of Extra Ammo and Health Power-Ups
PITTSBURGH — End of year assessments at local engineering firm Riverhead Technologies have spilled into the new year, with ample…
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FDA Bans Red Dye No. 3 After It Turns the President Into Red Hulk
WASHINGTON — The US Food and Drug Administration is banning the use of Red Dye No. 3 in food, drinks,…
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