Elon Musk Trades Lv. 100 Charizard to Elon Musk
WASHINGTON — In a closed door meeting between personally owned GameBoy Colors, tech billionaire Elon Musk has acquired a rare…
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Garry Kerls
75 stories found
Democrats Introduce Bill That Sits on Its Ass and Doesn’t Do Anything
WASHINGTON — During a recent rewatch of ‘Schoolhouse Rock,’ Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer was inspired to draft a piece…
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Every Trump Cabinet Member if They Were One of Jabba the Hutt’s Goons
In times of uncertainty, many Americans – like myself – retreat into the warm embrace of beloved movies and comfort…
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Sen. John Fetterman Wandering Capitol Building, Attacking Any Survivors
WASHINGTON — In hopes to combat the impending “woke mind virus” pandemic, the Trump Administration has turned Sen. John Fetterman…
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Trump Presidency 2 Fails To Fix Stick Drift
PASADENA, Calif. — After eight long years, the wait for a second Trump Presidency is finally over. But as the…
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Boss’s Waiting Room Full of Extra Ammo and Health Power-Ups
PITTSBURGH — End of year assessments at local engineering firm Riverhead Technologies have spilled into the new year, with ample…
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FDA Bans Red Dye No. 3 After It Turns the President Into Red Hulk
WASHINGTON — The US Food and Drug Administration is banning the use of Red Dye No. 3 in food, drinks,…
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Not Banned Yet! Americans Flee Tik Tok For Totally Different Chinese Data-Stealing App
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans prepare for a historic social media ban made possible by a groundbreaking bipartisan campaign between…
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Paralyzed Pokemon Still Doing Quite A Lot Out There
MAUVILLE CITY — In a miraculous turn of events, a thought to be paralyzed Sceptile has overcome the crippling status…
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Silent Protagonist Jinxed Back in Middle School
PALLET TOWN — After quietly climbing the ranks and becoming the Pokémon League Champion, Red has broken his vow of…
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