MUSHROOM KINGDOM – Dinosaur and Super Mario Kart racer Yoshi has been detained by Vanilla Lake Police Department (VLPD) after a routine traffic stop uncovered an unregistered red turtle shell in his kart, sources report.
“The suspect was speeding through Vanilla Lake, so of course I had to pull him over,” VLPD Officer Chet Nicholas told reporters. “I noticed him careening through our town’s green pipes and repeatedly destroying our ice blocks in lieu of simply driving between them. I stopped him near the rainbow-colored barrier and searched his kart, at which point I seized the shell in the undercarriage because he failed to produce the paperwork proving that it was properly registered.”
Referee Lakitu was exasperated at the news.
“Yoshi has nobody to blame but himself for this,” Lakitu sighed. “He attended the required seminar for all Mushroom Kingdom Kart Racer Pro card holders before the tournament, where we covered the steps he needed to take, from becoming CPR-certified prior to racing at Koopa Beach to signing the papers to clear the Mushroom Kingdom of any liability should he fall through one of the holes in Ghost Valley. Of course, we covered registering all weapons through the proper channels, as well. Now he’s being held by the cops on 10-coin bail, and I’m going to have to go fish him out.”
Fellow racer Toad shared his thoughts on the situation.
“This is just awful,” Toad mentioned. “Yoshi and I have been racing together since back in the Mushroom Cup, and I’ve always had a lot of respect for him. How long do you think the VLPD will keep him? I’m just asking because we’re going to Bowser’s Castle to race tomorrow, and I was wondering if he’d be able to make it. I mean, I really hope he’s alright, obviously. It’s just that, he is in second place right now, and I’m in third, so what would happen, theoretically, if he had to back out of the tournament entirely?”
At press time, Yoshi was facing serious criminal charges after police noticed the red turtle shell’s serial number had been sanded off.
