Weapons, from Director Zach Cregger (The Whitest Kids U’ Know), starring Josh Brolin (Marvel’s The Avengers Post Credit Scenes), has stunned the box office this past week, leaving audiences spooked and critics impressed. At least that’s what I hear, because this film critic’s severe phobia of anything creepy, scary, and otherwise unsettling, has kept me away from the movies. However, my want to stay relevant coupled with chronic FOMO has resulted in the following comprehensive review of the Wikipedia plot synopsis for Weapons (2025).
The film’s hook revolves around the disappearance of a local third grade class. One night, at exactly 2:17 A.M., all but one student suddenly ran out of their homes–arms akimbo–and disappeared into the night, a scene that would most definitely give me nightmares if I saw it.
Two months after that incident, the teacher of the class (Julia Garner) and a father of one of the missing children (Josh Brolin), begin their own investigations into the strange event. Along with the final remaining child, Alex Lilly (Cary Christopher), the narrative of the film jumps from one character’s perspective to another, a directing style that would’ve made my brain hurt if I hadn’t been reading the plot on my phone.
We soon learn from Alex’s perspective that his parents, along with the rest of his third grade class, have been bewitched by his great-aunt Gladys. Gladys is a dying witch who uses her witch-powers to control people, a sentence that reads much sillier than the film seems to let on.
At this point in my reading I sighed a sigh of relief knowing I would never have to look at Gladys’ seemingly hideous mug. Her description is chilling and I curse my brain for even attempting to imagine what she looks like.
In the end, however, it’s teamwork that makes the dreamwork. The adults eventually figure out that the single remaining child may actually have something to do with the disappearances, and after a final fight sequence, Gladys meets her demise at the hands of the children she cursed. A stomach curdling rabbit-hole search into dismemberment put the final bow on my experience with Weapons (2025), and I couldn’t be happier it’s over. 5 stars!
