HYRULE — The economy was in shambles Tuesday after groundskeepers mistakenly mowed Hyrule Field, uncovering hundreds of thousands of rupees. The workers were meant to be tending the Hyrule Castle garden as part of the ongoing renovations after the last three near-apocalypses.
“We coudnae tell where th’ bloody property line was wi’ hauf th’ ground floatin’ in th’ air like that,” said groundskeeper William MacDougal, recounting the incident, “we were just cuttin’ the weeds back a wee bit when it started rainin’ the blighted things.”
Word soon spread to nearby villages, causing locals to rush to the field to fill their wallets. Giant’s Wallets were soon the hot commodity around the kingdom, selling out within hours. However, the impact on the local economy was nearly immediate, with shops quickly running out of goods and the rupee value tanking.
Paul Moneybags, a spokesman for the Bank of Hyrule warned that inflation and economic collapse was inevitable.
“It’s simple math,” said Moneybags, “if everyone is rich, then no one is rich. Shopkeepers will need to raise their prices to keep up with demand. Ten arrows may be thirty rupees today and three hundred tomorrow. We’re already seeing the rupee being devalued in other kingdoms.”
Moneybags refused to entertain the idea of a new currency standard, but is rumored to have begun hoarding Korok Seeds. Local medicine shop owner Matthew Mercer scoffed at the idea.
“You know that’s their shit, right?”
At press time, the royal family had yet to release a statement regarding the incident or the fallout, though the dark red cloud over Hyrule Castle may indicate the economy is the least of their worries.
