I am looking for a new home for my 2001 MJOLNIR Mark V Assault Armor (or as you normies call it, Spartan Armor). This set of armor has been good to me, but I do not use it as much as I used to. And if I am being honest, things have gotten tough over at my multi-trillion-dollar company. Every million helps at this point, so that is why I am parting ways with this great armor.
A little more about the armor:
I am not the original owner. I would borrow this set from a guy I knew in the early 2000s. I do not know where he is now, but I have heard he went crazy, stole some art, and is not doing much better than me. I thankfully bought this while he was still of sound mind.
I have done everything in the armor. I fought the Covenant, fought the flood, fought the forerunners, fought the Covenant again, fought the Didact, fought the Covenant again, fought other Spartans, and fought the Covenant again. I say all that to say, there is some light wear and tear that is just bound to happen when you are prone to “finish the fight.”
The last few years, I have lent the armor out to this weird gentleman. He very much loves and takes safe care of it when he has it, but he would request to do the strangest things in the armor. Things that I could not allow him to do in my armor. He thankfully listens to my directions, except for this one time when he added grapple hooks to the suit without telling me. Even weirder, he recently changed his name, to sound like more of an expert with MY ARMOR. Needless to say, I have parted ways with this gentleman and the suit has been thoroughly cleaned.
Times are tough here. I cannot say what company I work for, but I promise you, you have yelled at one of our products for not working properly. This set of armor has been good to me, but it reminds me of better days. Days when I would wear the armor and explore new capital ventures. I look around this room now and I see all these things I have acquired over the years, just sitting here. None of it makes me happy. But what makes me unhappier is seeing this set of armor empty. It needs a loving home.
$500-Million OBO. Please, no trade offers.
