CELADON UNIVERSITY — A determined Golbat earned her Ph.D in Child Psychology after overcoming the tragic adversity of being abandoned by her trainer at a Day-Care nearly twenty-six years ago.
“I’ve come a long way since Route Five,” she screeched in her address to her graduating class, lowering the defense stat of everyone in attendance. “At first I didn’t want to believe it. We were going to take down the Elite Four together, I told myself. I watched for days as my trainer rode their bicycled back and forth just outside the window, but never returned for me. I just kept leveling until they were gone forever. Well, today, we’ve all leveled, and we did it for ourselves!”
Golbat made a positive impression on her peers, but even more so on her instructors.
“Golbat’s story really struck a chord with me,” said Professor Yellowwood. “It’s one thing to leave your Pokémon in Day-Care with other members of its egg group so you can farm shinies in a nonstop orgy of unspeakable depravity, but to just leave your Pokémon there for so many years? How Golbat came to be the dignified and empathetic child psychologist is nothing short of a miracle.”
Golbat noted that she uses her trauma as a tool for empathy rather than an obstacle.
“When I aged out of the Day-Care and was forced to live in Rock Tunnel for shelter, I said to myself, ‘I will never let another soul feel this alone ever,’” said Golbat. “That’s been the driving force behind my doctoral thesis: Left Behind, the Impact of Day-Care Neglect on Effort Value Training. It’s already set to change the way Pokémon trainers think about using Day-Care facilities.”
At presstime, Golbat has graduated Summa Cum Laude and is looking at a promising career as a barista at Starbucks.
