GREENVILLE, S.C. — Sources close to the situation have revealed that local “One Piece” fan Max Nevins watches the popular anime with his eyes closed and with his computer speakers completely on mute in order to avoid seeing or having to think critically about the IP’s “liberal messaging.”
“I really love One Piece. Or at least, I think I do,” Nevins said in a statement to local press. “The character designs are great, the incredibly detailed and intricate world built by Eiichiro Oda is captivating, and the fights and Devil Fruit powers seem really cool from the small glimpses I’ve caught of them. I just have to watch it on mute with my eyes closed most of the time because it gets so preachy. ‘Oh, Celestial Dragons this, World Government that. Classism and racism are bad, wah wah wah’… you liberals are so whiny. Why can’t they scrap all of that Revolutionary Army stuff and just focus on the more important details, like animating Nami’s boobs to be bigger and bigger every arc?”
Nevins’ best friend Richie Murphy, a fellow anime fan and the one who got him into One Piece in the first place, offered his thoughts on the matter.
“As someone who’s currently caught up on the manga, it’s been fun to watch Max’s journey through the series, even if it has sort of been in bits and pieces.” Murphy commented. “I’d ask him how he liked Enies Lobby, for example, and he’d respond that seeing Luffy unlock Gear Second and Third were really cool moments, but he didn’t see Robin’s entire backstory. I guess he didn’t want to hear about a horrible genocide committed by the Marines and how fascist practices like the destruction of knowledge and information lead to an ignorant and easier-to-control general populace. Same thing happened with Fishman Island: he liked Zoro’s fight with Hody Jones underwater, but he muted all of the episodes about fishman-human relations and the endless cycles of violence that racism causes. Oh well, everyone enjoys anime differently, I guess.”
When approached for comment, Lily O’Connor, a local anime convention organizer, had the following to say.
“Oh yeah, I know Max. Bit of an odd guy. He keeps telling me he’s a big One Piece fan and that he’s almost done with Wano, but then when I try to talk to him about it, it’s like he’s just skipped over half the show? I think he completely missed the entire Reverie part because it was ‘too political’…but it’s not even filler! He also has no idea what I’m talking about when I say things like ‘I’m excited for Dragon to finally do something’ or ‘It’s really cool that Luffy is now the reincarnation of the sun god and will free the world from Imu’s tyranny.’ Not sure why he avoids all of that stuff…and I don’t even wanna know how he’s gonna react to the Egghead Arc.”
At press time, Max was spotted forcefully removing his headphones and throwing a blanket over his head at the mere mention of the Celestial Dragons owning slaves.
