CHICAGO — Recovering Diablo addict Samuel Ross, who just recently completed his 12 Step program, has reportedly fallen off the wagon according to sources close to him.
“He’s back to his old ways. All he does is talk about min/maxing and he clearly hasn’t slept in days,” wrote Ross’ friend Jason on social media. “His eyes are bloodshot and he keeps muttering ‘uncut gems’ over and over again under his breath. He’s been doing so well, sober for a year. I don’t know what happened. I check his system and Diablo isn’t even installed so I thought it was delayed withdrawal at first but it turns out he got hooked on Path of Exile 2”
Gaming psychologist Gerald Willbourghy weighed in on the situation, saying this isn’t an isolated incident.
“I’ve seen this happen to many of my patients and I expect in the coming months it will happen to many more. Much of the last year of my career has been dedicated to helping Diablo addicts recover and it comes in waves. A Diablo game comes out, they get addicted for a while, then they overcome it until a new Diablo game comes out. Unfortunately I fear that Path of Exile 2 may have an even greater hold on Diablo addicts who snapped out of the hypnotic hold the series held pretty quickly after 4 was released.”
Blizzard spokesperson Nathan Helmsley has hit back at claims Path of Exile 2 offers a stronger gamer high than Diablo 4.
“Our product has been on the streets for decades. We’ve been the game of choice for addicts since 1997. Many competitors have tried muscling in on our turf and they’ve all been snuffed out eventually and the addicts crawl back to us and beg at our feet for another hit of dopamine that only we can provide. You may say now that Path of Exile 2 is better, tighter and with a more engaging endgame despite only being early access but trust us, you will return like you always do. We’ll make sure of it.”
At press time, Blizzard has announced that in an attempt to get addicts back on their product they will be updating Diablo 4 in a way no one likes.
