HOLLYWOOD — A major movie studio has confirmed that production has begun on an animated remake of a beloved live-action retelling of a cherished animated classic.
Studio Chief Executive Dominic Cobb assured fans that the recreation will remain true to the reinvention of the original, saying,
“We understand how much the first, first movie means to people and plan to revere it in this animated version of its live-action duplication. Our team of storytellers is excited to share our vibrant renewal of the recent lifelike redo of one of the world’s venerated hand-drawn films.”
Animation Director Casey Curry is excited for the opportunity to use modern technology to give audiences a fresh cartoon rendition of last decade’s true-to-life reprise of a childhood treasure.
“With today’s animation tools, we can bring the realistic versions of the adored digital ink and paint motion picture to a new level of illustrated glory,” Curry explained. “The expressiveness of the characters in every frame of the primary original was unparalleled. That will return in this modern do-over with the added benefit of improved subsurface scattering and 100 times the follicle-per-square-millimeter count of the original version. No, not that one, the one before this one.”
Isabel Salazar, the studio’s Chief Marketing Officer, sees all new, old ways to attract moviegoers and guarantee box office success. One key, she said, is to know your audience.
“The initial animated feature occupies a sacred space in a generation’s hearts. The live-action remake also exists. We don’t need to reinvent the reinvented wheel here,” Salazar explained. “Whether people want to relive the nostalgia of their childhood or young adulthood or whenever, or they want to see a facelift re-lifted but with…let’s say, better limb articulation…we really don’t have to do anything. This CGI reproduction of the prized, authentic-looking renovation of the vintage masterpiece is guaranteed to draw crowds.”
At press time, the film’s animators were spotted with notepads at a Flashback Cinema showing of The Polar Express.
