So, it’s happening again. You have some friends over for a game night and everything is going well, but then someone’s boyfriend suggests Mario Party. Worse still, despite the fact that none of the attendees are under the age of 10, everyone sounds enthusiastic about it. Your first reaction is to despair, but I’m here to help you survive this giant, excruciatingly boring waste of your time.
The first thing to do, of course, is to sway the group to choose the fewest rounds possible by saying there will be cake arriving in half an hour. There does not need to be cake. Deception is imperative for survival at this stage. If you succeed at this, you should only need to utilize one or two of the following ten options that will help you stay occupied while waiting for your turn. All of these activities can be performed while participating in minigames.
1. Clean out your closet for a Goodwill drop.
You’ve been meaning to for years and you might as well toss that “Fluent in Sarcasm” shirt your aunt got you.
2. Paint your nails.
The more complicated the better. With a French tip, you will not have time to hate Bowser for being a thief.
3. Touch up your roots.
You meant to before game night, anyways, and they’re too busy ganging up on Luigi to notice.
4. Dust your book shelf and toss any books by canceled authors.
You still have that Neil Gaiman collection up there and now’s as good a time as any.
5. Locate your middle school enemies on LinkedIn and leave negative comments.
You might as well funnel your rage about the star location moving yet again.
6. File your emails.
2,000 unread emails? Your friend waffling about which dice to use is an opportunity to get your life together.
7. Actually bake a cake.
Hey, whatever it takes.
8. Start an MLM.
You might think a getty is not the moment to build your empire, but you’d be wrong. Toad is explaining rules to them for the 8th time. Build that pyramid, girl.
9. Call your mom.
She misses you.
10. Finally start that manuscript.
You were going to use the time to scroll angrily on Instagram and watch what actual fun activities all your other friends were doing. You might as well start the novel about the overly precocious child detective.
