UPPSALA, Sweden — Sprog Hoeffler, avid gamer and founder of the group “Not All Nazis”, has taken umbrage with the way Nazis are being represented in the upcoming game “Indiana Jones and the Great Circle” from developer MachineGames.
“Why is it that the people most concerned about representation and equality are the first ones to condemn someone just because they subscribe to a different worldview?” Hoeffler bemoaned on his blog, “Sieg Heil, Not Hate.” “Do I want to exterminate the Jews? Sure, who doesn’t? But that doesn’t make me a bad person. And what’s more American than exterminating an entire group of people? I say I’m more of a patriot than any of these so-called ‘wokies’ who depict all Nazis as genocidal freaks. Some of us just really like their economic policies. Is it my fault the only way to implement them is by eradicating groups of people based on stereotypes and eugenics? Grow up.”
Biff Whipplespit, who goes by the handle Skinheads4Change on X The Everything App, posited that the Nazi depiction is just another form of discrimination.
“I’ve had it with the double standards these libs try to cram down our throats,” Whipplespit said. “When I make a joke about George Floyd it’s racist, but when they make GIFs of prominent fascists being bonked with hammers no one cares. And when I complain about it they just make more and more gifs of Nazis being bonked with hammers. They say love is love, but when I say that I love eradicating the Jews, Catholics, Blacks, Mexicans, the Chinese, and anyone who looks at me sideways they call me a bad person. Make it make sense.”
Nicole Devalder, a researcher who specializes in the study of fascist movements, offered her insight on the recent uptick in fascist whinging.
“All these people have is their own perceived victimhood,” Devalder said. “Even when they win, they act as though they’ve lost and the enemy is at the gates, and when they’ve lost, no matter how emphatically or no matter how many people are deriding them and their worldview they declare victory. You have to be a special kind of brain damaged to abide by this philosophy. It’s truly remarkable.”
At press time a group of fascists had gathered on a X The Everything App space to hold a victory party following a mass exodus of users who found them too annoying to be around any longer.
