BOSTON — Lifelong Southie resident and film enthusiast Bobby Smart can’t wait to see the new “Wicked” movie he’s heard everyone talking about so much recently, sources familiar with the matter confirm.
“This is friggin’ amazing,” Smart said in a statement. “I mean, no one’s even saying the full title of the movie! They’re just calling it ‘the wicked movie’- which I’m taking to mean as ‘wicked good’, obviously. The word’s an adverb, a lotta people forget that…but anyways, I don’t even wanna look it up and learn what it’s about. I’m picturing a gunfight or two, maybe some explosions, a climactic final battle…I’ll go into the theater completely blind to make sure I get the full experience.”
While he’s known around the neighborhood to be “pretty enthusiastic” and “sometimes a little too much”, Smart’s friends and neighbors haven’t seen him so excited for a movie in years, according to multiple reports.
“He’s been going on about it the whole damn week,” childhood friend Sam Nestor noted. “I feel like the last time he was this amped up to go to the movies was right before we went to see The Departed back in ‘06. But I don’t think he knows he’s in for a delightful adaptation of the beloved Stephen Schwartz musical starring Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande as Elphaba and Galinda, respectively. Boy, is he gonna be surprised. I can’t wait to see his reaction.”
Local AMC theater employee Martha Watson offered her thoughts on Smart’s recent behavior.
“Oh, that guy? Yeah, he comes in every so often to see a sports biopic or a Scorsese flick. I’m gonna be honest, I’m not so sure what’s got him so hyped about this one, it doesn’t seem like it’s in his wheelhouse at all.” Watson told reporters. “An origin story about the land of Oz and the Wicked Witch of the West?” After taking a pause to think, she continued: “Oh, wait a minute…he does use the word ‘wicked’ a lot. ‘That was wicked cool’…uh-oh. Is that what this is all about?”
At press time, Smart was seen exiting the theater after his showing of “Wicked” with a look of completely ambiguous shock on his face.
