TOKYO — A bombshell report this week has exposed and criticized the practices employed by the “Velvet Room” private prison.
“It is time for this ruin to end,” Fools for Justice said in a press release. “For too long the Velvet Room has operated under the illusion of rehabilitation, as a means to save humanity from a terrible fate. In reality, they’re just the latest in a long line of for-profit prisons that place the CEO’s bottom line above basic human rights.”
The one-hundred and twenty page report alludes to various human rights violations committed by the Velvet Room. Among other things, it alludes to the use of executing prisoners via the electric chair, butchering prisoners in order to fuse them together in some kind of barbaric chimera-esque practice, and imprisoning teenagers without trial.
“For real!?” Ryuj Sakamoto, former track star and local delinquent, shared his thoughts with reporters. “It’s absolutely messed up what they’re doing there. A friend of mine claimed he’d been locked up there, but then again he also claimed he was banging his goth doctor, so who knows?”
Despite the extensive report provided, the Velvet Room has come out swinging, denying all allegations.
“This is a smear campaign designed to silence me,” said Igor, proprietor of the prison room. “My Velvet Room operates above and beyond what is demanded by law. Any allegations that I charge money for prisoners to execute one another are simply that: allegations, and I’ll lock up any trickster who continues to repeat them.”
At press time, prosecutor Sae Niijima announced she would be opening an investigation into Igor, albeit for crimes related to identity theft.
