GARLAND, Texas — A gamer who has recently begun taking Ozempic for his diabetes has become worried about the undesired weight loss is giving him “DEI Chin”.
Brett Cooper, who goes by the handle BasedMemeLord, has been lamenting the fact that his hard earned “Gamer Physique” is being ruined by the medicine that is keeping him alive.
“If I lose any more weight I’m gonna end up looking like ‘Larry Croft,’” Cooper complained. “It’s bad enough I can’t open Steam without getting a bunch of woke DEI garbage shoved in my face. Now I can’t even look in my mirror without looking like a Sweet Baby Detected character.”
Cooper’s roommate and childhood friend, Phil Grosky, said the sudden weight loss has put a strain on their relationship.
“Brett, he still says all the right things: ‘DEI kills games,’ ‘go woke go broke,’ and has several ongoing harassment campaigns against a bunch of games ‘urinalists,’ but I’m not sure I can trust anyone who has a distinguishable chin,” Grosky said. “Last week I caught him buying Dragon Age: Wokeguard. He said he bought it by mistake and would be demanding a refund, but Steam says he’s played for over twenty hours.”
When confronted about the “Dragon Age: Veilguard” purchase Cooper said it was done out of a necessity for research, and not to support “DEIWare,” which he later clarified was developer BioWare.
“I’m providing a public service,” Cooper said. “I’m playing this game so others don’t have to wonder just how woke it is. I’m not having a good time playing this garbage, and anytime you see me smiling on stream it is out of incredulity, not because I’m happy. Woke pharma decided it’s not enough for NPCs to have DEI Chin and it must be foisted upon the Common Gamer in the real world. I’ve been posting for months now that wokeness in games would have real life consequences, and now here we are.”
At press time Cooper was seen attaching a prosthetic double chin to his face.
