PONTOON BEACH, Ill – A local VFW has rejected the application from a prospective member who self describes as a “GamerGate Veteran”.
Jacob Bradford, who goes by the handle “FemiNaziHater1488” on X – The Everything App, shared an image of the rejection letter on the thriving social media platform in a post attacking the organization.
“Trump was right! Under Biden the military and now our veterans have gone woke, unfortunately,” Bradford said in his post. “I told them the battles I fought against the Woke Mob was a threat greater than anything they might have faced in Iraq or Afghanistan, and they told me they only let ‘real veterans’ into their little club. These guys don’t understand, just because their lives were actually in danger and some of them have horrific injuries they will never fully recover from, not to mention the years and years of therapy they need to grapple with their PTSD, doesn’t mean the war I’ve been waging online the last ten years is any less real. Next time they play a video game and the female character’s nipples are fully visible they better send me a card thanking me for my service.”
Tommy Graskins, a retired Army Sgt. who served in the Iraq War and active member of the local VFW, responded to the accusations.
“This dipshit has been harassing us for months,” Graskins said. “It seems like at least once a week he wanders up here to brag about being a veteran of something called ‘GamerGate’, and starts ranting about the games media, censorship, and the woke mob. Earlier this year he tried to get me to sign a petition for something called ‘Free Stellar Blade’. I finally read up on GamerGate, and it just sounds like a bunch of losers who have never been laid before because they’re too busy jerking each other off in online forums to meet someone who might be willing to touch them.”
Bradford’s mother Sheila, with whom he still lives, says this behavior is not out of the ordinary for her son.
“He seems to think women he has never met or interacted with are responsible for all his problems,” Mrs. Bradford said. “I’ve tried to tell him if he wants to meet a nice girl all he has to do is leave the basement once in a while, but he refuses. Instead every night while I’m watching Blue Bloods reruns I have to listen to him yelling into a microphone to his friends about how ‘based’ Elon Musk’s latest posts are. I’m exhausted.”
At press time, Bradford had formed a one man picket line in front the VFW holding a poster with “Vets Are Part of The Woke Mob” scrawled in barely legible handwriting.
