AUSTIN, Texas — Local QA tester Ryan Vásquez discovered a new job search hack that allows you to pad out your resume by also listing games that thank the player in the credits, sources confirm.
“Studios today simply won’t hire you for this line of intense work if you don’t already have some big names on your resume,” said Vásquez, repeatedly disconnecting and reconnecting his controller mid-cutscene. “For months I suffered rejection after rejection, thinking that exploiting glitches in the flash game my buddy made over spring break in 7th grade was all the experience I needed to get my foot in the door. Guess what? It wasn’t. But you know, you’d be surprised just how many titles out there throw a nod to the player in the credits, be it the name of your character or just a simple ‘Thank you so much a-for-to playing my game.’ What’s to stop me from listing these games under my relevant experience? I mean, I did test these games, technically. ”
Nicole Matthews, hiring manager for Retro Studios, details how she eventually chose Vásquez to fill one of the company’s hundreds of quality assurance testing positions.
“We had a lot of qualified candidates, but Ryan was easily one of the best—such great buzzwords! And that work history? Wow!” said Matthews, typing up an offer letter for one of the boss’s kids. “‘Final Fantasy VI,’ ‘Zelda II,’ ‘Portal.’ ‘EARTHBOUND,’ for crying out loud! I didn’t even need to see him in action—I just needed him to sign on with us before someone else got to him first. It’s been amazing. I have never seen a tester run a character head-first into a wall for seven consecutive hours as well as I’ve seen him do it.”
‘Earthbound’ creator Shigesato Itoi explains his connection to Vásquez.
“I can’t say that I’ve ever met this man,” said Itoi, hard at work not localizing ‘Mother 3.’ “But I hope to do so one day. All of the games I have been fortunate to help bring to life have been made possible by both dedicated teams of employees as well as the players who joined us in our journey. I truly believe that we cannot have one without the other, and for this I am eternally grateful for those that have chosen to share in this experience. Also, it says here he worked on ‘Viewtiful Joe’—do you think he could answer some questions for me about the making of that game?”
At press time, Vásquez was seen adding programming skills to his resume, stating that his time inputting cheat codes should justify its inclusion.
