NEW YORK – What do saving the Ranchini Queen in Mass Effect and majoring in communications have in common? Both have little to no impact in the grand scheme of things according to new research.
A Nielsen Media Research survey exploring the connections between gaming and hopelessness found that 99% of millennials who played Mass Effect 3 reported being less surprised by most of their decisions being irrelevant later in life. Brenda Mahoney, Head of Gaming Research with Nielsen, broke down their findings in a press conference at Nielsen headquarters earlier this week.
“In our response pool of over 25,000 millennials, we found that those struggling with finances, work-life balance, or family matters had an easier time accepting how pointless their choices were if they completed Mass Effect 3 in its entirety,” lamented Mahoney, a late-millennial herself. “If something as big as curing the Genophage and restoring the Krogan race meant so little, who gives a crap who you marry or have kids with, am I right? In the grand scheme of things, your choices just do not matter. That’s a pill a majority of millennials are finding easier to swallow these days, thanks in part to playing Mass Effect 3.”
Researchers at Nielsen were dumbfounded by just how universal these findings were. No matter the respondent’s sex, gender, socioeconomic background, or side they took in the console wars, Mass Effect 3 was continuously cited as a major factor in hopelessness. Mahoney continued the press conference, breaking down the methods used in the survey.
“We simply asked millennials when they gave up hope. The prompt asked for a year, but respondents opted to type in video games instead,” Mahoney said, pointing at a pie chart mostly made up of Mass Effect 3 responses. “We also found that gamers who gave up hope as a result of playing Mass Effect 3 were more likely to engage in questionable behavior like enrolling in graduate school, racking up credit card debt, or playing Destiny 2.”
It’s not all doom and gloom out there though. Mahoney wrapped up the press conference by discussing ways millennials can combat that general feeling of hopelessness.
“You can die,” Mahoney said sternly. “If that’s not an option you can always replay Baldur’s Gate 3.”
At press time Mahoney had retired to her office for the day to replay the Garden of Salvation raid in Destiny 2.
