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ADHD Man Forgets To Take Highly Addictive Medicine For 4th Straight Day

DENVER — Sources report that a local man has once again forgotten to take his ADHD medicine, which his doctor was initially reluctant to prescribe him due to the medication’s high potential for addiction and overuse. 

“It works great for me; it really helps with all of my symptoms. Of all the medicines that I have forgotten to take over the years, this one is by far the best,” said Hank Cosman as he looked around for his keys, which he swore he just had in his hand. “I wish I could find the prescription so that I could pop one right now to help me remember where the pill bottle even is, you know?”

Hank’s partner Fred Wright reports that they are always having to remind him to take his medication, and that the doctors made it very clear to be aware of the risks involved. 

“Yeah, basically every day I have to hound Hank to take his pills. The doctors gave me all kinds of pamphlets to warn me about the signs of addiction, which were very helpful because it gives me something to whack Hank on the arm with when I tell him that he can’t keep forgetting to take his meds,” said Wright. “Some days he even forgets that he forgot to take it; try and wrap your mind around that one.” 

Mr. Cosman’s doctor, James Cramblin, is still concerned that addiction could arise at any moment for his ADHD patients.

“If they take this medication every day, it could help them to remember that they are supposed to take it every day, and it could be pandemonium,” said Dr.Cramblin, with the fear of God in his eyes. “I’ve heard stories of 19-year-old kids popping their friend’s pills to help them study, which gives me pause when prescribing helpful medication to law-abiding 35-year-olds with ADHD. I prefer to stick with less addictive, less useful medications, just to be safe.”

At press time, Cosman was still searching for his keys and somehow also lost his glasses in the process.

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