BEND, Ore. — Local child Stephanie Vasquez has greatly disappointed her parents after she chose to buy a brand new Pikachu plush toy instead of the rare factory error Squirtle plush that was right next to it on the shelf.
Vasquez’s father Daniel made a Reddit post about the incident on r/kidsarestupid to lament about his daughter’s lesser IQ level.
“This is just an absolute nightmare as a father. You always want the best for your kids but it’s so demoralizing when your kid proves without a shadow of a doubt that they’re an absolute dumbass. I still love her of course but this makes it so much harder. When we got into the aisle with the Pokémon plush toys and I saw her face light up I was so proud of her because I was sure she was going to pick the Squirtle whose face was upside down but instead she grabbed the Pikachu right next to it and my soul left my body. She’s 8, she should be smarter than this.”
Vasquez’s mother Gina made her own social media post about the incident, asking her Facebook friends for recommendations on special schools to send their daughter.
“As many of you know by now Stephanie recently chose to buy a brand new perfectly normal Pikachu instead of the factory error Squirtle that was clearly more rare and valuable thus proving that she is of a much lower intellect than she should be. That Squirtle could have eventually paid to send her to a college that we now know she’d never get accepted to. We love our daughter and want the best for her so we are going to send her to a school that specializes in teaching really stupid kids. If any of you know of any schools that could help a kid who would so willingly make this purchase please, I implore you to give us recommendations.
Stephanie herself seems oblivious to the drama surrounding her purchases as her social media profiles are filled with photos of her with her new Pikachu plush in which she claims it’s her absolute favorite Pokémon and she loves him.
At press time, Daniel and Gina have gotten in contact with a brain specialist and plan on running various tests on Stephanie.
