NEW YORK — A Brooklyn apartment was reportedly filled with a pitch-perfect recreation of tear gas yesterday after the highly sophisticated GameScent AI system had no choice but to emulate a world war one grenade thrown by a player.
“I was just trying to play the game and suddenly my eyes started burning and I couldn’t breathe,” said the victim, Mark Thompson, 25. “I stumbled out of my apartment, choking and coughing, only to find my neighbors in the same situation. It was one of the best gaming experiences of my life.”
Thompson’s roommate, Ethan Wilkins, who was also affected by the tear gas, expressed outrage.
“I woke up and thought I was dying. I thought I’d never see my family again,” he said. “I’m so pissed I haven’t been able to afford one yet.”
Local authorities are investigating the incident, and some lawmakers are calling for stricter regulations on gaming technology.
“Almost half of all fires are started by overheating PS4s,” said city councilman Don Barker. “The other half is improperly wired DIY PC gaming builds. RGB lighting takes so many lives every year and the media refuses to cover it.”
GameScent president Casey Bunce defended the company’s commitment to realism.
“Our AI is designed to provide the most immersive gaming experience possible,” he said. “We’ve perfectly recreated the scents of everything from mustard gas to napalm, and we’re just getting started. Imagine the thrill of winning a round and knowing your enemy’s apartment will never be inhabitable again.”
At press time, GameScent had announced plans to release a limited edition version of its device which would allow players to experience the thrill of being waterboarded.
