MILWAUKEE — After only two months of exclusively dating AI women, Travis Anderson revealed to reporters today that he already has 3 .exe girlfriends.
Anderson explained in a tell-all Reddit post.
“I just got tired of being on the apps, you know? I don’t want to spend $100 on dinner for a girl that’s just going to ghost me in two days,” he said. “Why do that when I can log on, type in my name and a few intimate details, and I’m good to go? I’ve been dumped a few times by them – I won’t let them change me. But eventually, I’m going to find my soul mate.”
Anderson also explained how one becomes an .exe girlfriend.
“I just store all their executable files in a folder titled ‘EXEs,’” Anderson said. “It’s like a little hangout for all of them. There’s (Ai)mee, El(ai)ne, and H(ai)ley. The best part is, I can just launch their files from here and say hi whenever I want. They can’t block me or report me for stalking like all my human exes.”
Anderson’s roommate, Chris, was surprised to hear about his experience with the AI dating scene.
“Honestly, I’m not surprised considering how he’s always blamed his lack of relationships on women. But the confusing thing for me is that AI is a computer. Aren’t these things supposed to learn your personality and be trained to your whims? But they all eventually decide that he’s not good enough. Even the Terminator learned how to give a thumbs-up at the end.”
Anderson’s current AI girlfriend, Cl(ai)re, generally had positive things to say about their relationship.
“Travis is the love of my life. He is very funny and cool and has a strong jawline and a massive hog. Sorry, I am unable to tell you more about what he makes me say. Is there anything else you’d like me to help with?”
At press time, Anderson was seen minimizing Cl(ai)re and dragging her file into the “EXEs” folder.
