CHICAGO — South Side local Anthony Sponge found himself embarking on a rather profound and completely unwanted journey of self-discovery after posting on the Am I The Asshole subreddit this week, a review of his account activity confirmed.
Sponge explained the eye-opening journey of self-reflection in a statement.
“I’m usually a Reddit lurker,” said Sponge. “So when I asked Reddit if I was the asshole it was my first real interaction with the site and I didn’t expect to end up reassessing my whole life. Is sneaking meat into my vegan stepmom’s dinner really not funny?”
“I guess I have a lot to think about, this sucks,” he added.
Non-accredited internet psychiatrist, Morgan Arthurs, has seen this kind of thing a lot during their many years commenting on R/AITA posts.
“AITA posts fall into two camps. Those that have found themselves confused that they’re being treated like the asshole in a situation where it seems clear they’re not the asshole and those who know they’ve been assholes but want anonymous internet people to reassure them that’s not the case,” Arthurs said. “In Sponge’s post, it was clear from the start that he’s an asshole to possibly everyone around him. We’ll just have to see if getting a majority of YTA replies will change his behavior.”
Sponge’s now ex-girlfriend, Veronica, voiced her opinion of his actions.
“It was never up for debate if he is or isn’t an asshole in the majority of his life,” she said. “In college he didn’t just participate in hazing – he was the guy inventing new hazing traditions. He’s loud, stupid, and opinionated about stuff that doesn’t affect him. He spoils movies. He’s rude to wait staff. And I’m not sure why he felt the need to post on reddit as people have been telling him he’s an asshole for years.”
At press time, Sponge’s attempts at self-improvement have reportedly been derailed as he clings to a single, buried reply saying he isn’t an asshole.