It seems Netflix is not the only streamer who has had enough with their customer base sharing passwords left and right. Disney+ has reportedly hired the infamous bounty hunter Bossk to eliminate those guilty of sharing their account information with friends and family, sources confirmed.
“We’re not messing around anymore,” Bob Iger said, while perusing a dossier of targets. “People keep whining to me about layoffs but they’re the ones causing them! We can’t afford to bust out 3 Marvel shows a year no one asked for, maintain several theme parks across the globe, and pay our employees livable wages if you give your Aunt Margaret your password! She either gets her own account or no Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny for you.”
The situation has apparently gotten so bad that Disney has resorted to putting out hits on customers who haven’t heeded their warnings. According to sources inside the company Bossk, the terrifying Trandoshan, has already terminated 2,000 account holders.
“We love Bossk here, he gets results,” said Terry Farkas, head of bounty hunter relations at Disney. “Now while we are losing a considerable amount of accounts from the amount of targets he’s eliminating, we are seeing a lot of growth from those who saw the violence and see the example we are making out of people.”
Bossk’s Relby-v10 micro grenade launcher has become legendary amongst college students where password sharing is most rampant. Many students have begun to fear for their lives.
“I mean it’s just not very wizard,” said Mark Larpus, a student at UCLA. “I can barely afford this Humanities 101 textbook. You think I really have the money to pay them every month just so I can fall asleep halfway hate-watching She-Hulk for the fifth time?”
As of press time Larpus was found dead shortly after giving this statement from multiple stab wounds to the chest. Sources say as the attack unfolded Bossk didn’t show an ounce of emotion on his cold, cold face.
