Minneapolis – Family and friends of Funko Pop collector Tom Richards caught a lucky break this afternoon when his home burned to the ground taking his entire Funko Pop collection with it to hell, sources confirmed.
“I’ve lost everything,” claimed an exasperated Richards. “At least a dozen Endgame Fury Edition Avengers, all of the Chewbaccas, Blue Metallic Batman, Paul Feig, all gone. I’ve collected hundreds of these little figurines over the years; hundreds of hours and dollars now completely down the drain. I even passed on Disney tickets for a chance to bid on Holographic Darth Maul!”
“I guess I’ll just have to start over from square one–you don’t happen to have 10 dollars on you by chance? Madame Web is coming out soon and I’m expecting a short order window before the bots get all the good stuff for themselves.”
Neighbors were surprised and excited to learn of the fortunate situation, with clear relief in their voices as they offered their condolences.
“Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for the guy, but the air is black with plastic smoke and I couldn’t feel better,” offered neighbor Brad Smith, “It’s liberation for the whole neighborhood–nobody has to pretend to care who is being added to the Limited Edition Walking Dead Glow in The Dark Release anymore. I couldn’t have asked for a better gift this Christmas.”
Alex Matson, a local game store owner and fellow enthusiast, offered some insight on the disaster.
“I just sell those things because it’s illegal to print your own money. Plus, they’re really appealing to the folks who never figured out what a hobby is, but even I have to admit that the guy was going a little overboard. Jeez man, just go the extra mile and collect something with a little personality, like those horny anime figurines or maybe some Gundam.”
Richards’ friends have put together a GoFundMe to help pay for damages with clear requirements the funds cannot be spent on any Funko Pops. They have also promised to introduce him to movies that aren’t part of any “universe.”
