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Greta Gerwig: “For Two Months, I Thought Barbie Was a Margot Robbie Biopic”

We had a chance to sit down with the wonderful director of Barbie, Little Women, and Lady Bird, to discuss her career and future! Please enjoy this interview with Greta Gerwig:

What was it like working so closely with your partner Noah Baumbach?

“I don’t think about Noah at all in my work, really. I don’t even know where he sleeps.”

Did you play with Barbie dolls as a kid?

“Not at all. Two months into filming was actually when I learned that we weren’t making a Margot Robbie biopic. I thought it was strange she was playing herself!”

What’s the most difficult acting job you’ve had?

“Pretending to be attracted to Ben Stiller in Greenberg.”

What’s your next big project?

“I’m thinking about writing and directing a sequel to Little Women called Big Women. The characters are all still children, but they’re much larger now. In many ways, it will be the first film ever to turn on ‘Big Head’ mode.”

Have you seen Oppenheimer yet?

“No, I do not like movies that glorify the villainous act of being over 3 hours long.”

What was your favorite part of working on Barbie?

“For me, I found so much joy in forcing my woke agenda onto today’s youth through subtle pieces of propaganda. That’s what art is all about.”

What’s your favorite color?

“Probably green.”

What are you trying to say with your movies?

“Being a woman is actually easy as all fuck.”

How does it feel having such a massive career as a director after making only three films?

“People always forget that I co-directed a movie before Ladybird. It came out in 1991 and was called Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.

Do you think there will be a sequel to the Barbie movie?

“It is actually illegal in California to make more than $700 million dollars on a film and not make a sequel about the main character going to The City or Europe.”

Who would you love to cast as Barbie or Ken in the next Barbie movie?

“I think Danny Devito would be really funny as Ken. And for Barbie, I’d probably go with Danny Devito.”

How do you feel about the Mattel Cinematic Universe?

“Boo hoo, they’re making a bunch of movies about toys. Do you know what Stars Wars is? How about Marvel? What, you thought those were characters ripped from the collective unconscious? No. They’re toys. All of ‘em.”

What’s your favorite genre to work in?

“I love making comedy films, but it can be difficult for me. That’s why I named one of my movies ‘Frances Ha.’ Originally, it was just called Frances, but I wanted people to think of laughing while watching the movie.”

What inspired you to make Barbie?

“While my last several films have been well received, I couldn’t get anyone to produce any action figures based on Lady Bird or Frances Ha. I really just wanted to have toys based on a movie of mine, and this seemed like a better fit than the new Transformers film.”

Is it true you’ll be adapting C.S. Lewis’ Narnia books into feature films soon? 

“Books? I thought I was adapting the 2005 Game Boy Advance game The Chronicles of Narnia!”

Come on. You’re telling me you didn’t know that the Narnia game was based on a book?

“No, I genuinely thought it was based on the Andy Samberg video.”

Is there any other piece of IP or franchise that you’d like to make a movie for?

“Yes.”

How do you feel about the SAG-AFTRA and WGA strikes?

“As a member of SAG, the WGA, and the DGA, I think all the unions should Voltron together into one giant union that takes over the U.S. government once and for all.”

What is something about Hollywood that most people don’t know?

“When you get famous enough, you can just clap your hands and yell ‘almonds!’ and someone will bring you at least five almonds right there.”

If you could work with anyone in Hollywood, who would it be?

“More than anything, I’d really love to collaborate with the 20-year-old child of a very powerful politician like Al Gore or Barack Obama.”

Do you like to pull any pranks on set?

“Every movie I fully submerge one member of the cast in molasses completely nude while everyone gathers around and boos. I don’t know why, I don’t even like it. It’s just something I do.”

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