MUMBO’S MOUNTAIN — Bottles the Mole is reportedly struggling to figure out how to invite just Banjo to his BBQ party with friends.
“I love to party with Banjo. He’s got the chill surfer vibes that you would expect from someone with a shark tooth necklace. Plus he and his sister liven things up with their music,” Bottles explained. “But Kazooie… like jeez, she’s always trying to give me lame nicknames that never stick. It’s so rude! She has no interest in anything anyone says and leaves as soon as she gets what she wants from them. But apparently you can’t invite one without the other! It’s like they’re attached at the back or something and it drives me insane.”
Mutual friend Mumbo Jumbo agreed with Bottles’ intention to invite Banjo without Kazooie.
“Mole right to like bear without bird. Bird only put up with for bear’s sake. Bird try too hard to be funny badass,” Mumbo said. “Bird never relax and let moment breathe. Bird constantly trying to show everyone ‘funny’ videos on bird’s phone that are not funny. Videos straight up cruel. Why bird would want to party with people bird think better than, me don’t know. No one have heart to tell bear they should have own life once in a while.”
Banjo was isolated to be asked, hypothetically, on his thoughts of going to a party without Kazooie. Awkwardly, it turned out Kazooie was hiding in his backpack and jumped in to talk first.
“If Banjo goes to that party without me, then we’re finished as a duo. Without me they’re nothing but a flightless bore and he should never forget that. They think I’m rude? I’m just telling the truth to these boring jerks,” Kazooie said before Banjo had a chance to butt in. “I bet that geek Bottles is going to teach everyone how to do some board game nobody cares about. I’d get all those lame-oids to be shotgunning beers like a real party.”
At the time of the party, Banjo ended up staying around his neighborhood watching Kazooie spit eggs at mailboxes.
