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Telemarketer Clearly Justin Roiland

LOS ANGELES — The target of a local telemarketer’s recent pitch recognized the voice on the other end of the phone as disgraced Rick & Morty cocreator Justin Roiland, sources have confirmed. 

“Right away I could tell it was a familiar voice,” said Andrew Lane, on his suspicions he was talking to Roiland, who was recently dismissed  from several prominent roles and positions after allegations of abuse and improper contact with minors surfaced online. “At first I thought it was my buddy Tim fucking with me, but then I realized where I knew the voice –  it was dude from Rick & Morty! I was so sure of it. You could tell he was trying to make his voice sound different but it didn’t sound that different. I kept asking if it was him and he just kept insisting that he wanted to sell me a new insurance policy on my house. It wasn’t a very funny bit, and I don’t even own this place, so the whole thing grew annoying after a little while, to say the least.” 

“He must be working on some weird new prank call show or something,” he added. “I didn’t really get it.”

Despite the assertions of Lane’s, the solicitor insisted he wasn’t Justin Roiland. 

“No way man, no fuckin’ way,” he said. “I just uh, I want to uh, you know your house, you know the insurance, right? That fucking insurance on that house? You probably pay a fuckin’ fortune, right? Yeah, yeah, you do I bet. Let me talk to you about some insurance rates. These fuckin’ rates man, god damn. You’re gonna fuckin’ shit when you see this shit. Yeah man, this is some fucked up insurance shit alright.” 

As of press time, Lane hung up abruptly after the telemarketer said he was going to put an Asian associate of his on the phone. 

 

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